How To Reduce Stress And Feel Amazing Instead…
Good Morning! Before I go on about everything let me just do one thing on, introduce you to somebody you might better fucking be my little girl Maya. No reason I want to introduce there, it is because this is the key to stress management. It’s not having a kid with a trip to promise me, promise to give you a little bit more stressful times and have a look at this man just say, hey how are you today?
And what you should want to say to people who get really wound up and stressed up and you’ve been unhappy people should say is your advice, is they don’t worry killer. Now that is my gorgeous daughter, why would I share that with you? Simply because one of the first things to know about the stress management is who is going to benefit. Does it really matter if you get wound up? If you don’t get mad about stuff and everybody does at certain points when you go to the default setting up put you back into perspective again because you’re back to normal again. I spend all my time worrying about it and can’t do much about it a lot of reasons. But you can get stressed of varied something the stress because they can’t affect the outcome or because things got out of control or because it’s too much going on. Now the reason I showed you Maya is because the only thing that matters as a dad is making sure that she’s okay, my job in this world is to make sure she’s okay.
I’ve had a great life. I’ve done lots of things that are interesting and challenging. But my daughter make sure you get the best possible upgrade for all the stress. And all the grief and all the things people go through on a daily basis and yes I go for the same thing. So somebody insults me or gives me extra work of going to do I’ll turn it gives me a really hard time of it, tells me that we don’t like the work. A new blood and other things that really want you up a good perspective does it affect the way that I can provide for my daughter and my wife.
And make sure that they’ve got a good future if the answer is no and who cares is people’s opinion absolutely before about couple of things that key to being successful and it’s all about understanding what’s in it for me not as in David Crane but as in yourself what’s in it that every single thing that you do. Because that’s what people are thinking what’s in it for them whenever you interact with them so when they get stressed to get upset it’s only because you haven’t proven to them are you carrying about them and you really want them to have a very fast you find that you getting these kind of things on a regular basis. It’s time to reconsider relationship so let’s get back to stress management somewhere a little and my dogs in the garden she is enjoying the Spade I think she’s digging a way out playing to escape and started colony somewhere anyway as much.
So going back to stress management, first thing is to understand what matters and what doesn’t matter and what you spend all the time. On this one, I’d like to because the fact that normally above podcast/videocast is about 10 to 15 minutes this would be like three hours. So I’ll break up into just stages will get require lots of day so where’s all come from. What creates stress, the stress is like attentions it’s like a rubber band between what you can achieve or you can’t achieve and part of that process is the ability to understand that. When you’re stressed it’s just because it’s testing you. You don’t know the immediate answer because you have to make extra effort outside of your comfort zone to be able to get the achievements that you want so not all stress is bad some stress is actually very good field if you weren’t stressed at all.
And you wouldn’t get out of bed you just stay there going you know what I’m not bothered everything’s cool so you need a little bit service tension to be able to make you move forward now in a previous session is going about happiness. And the rules of what makes somebody happy the most happiest times in your life is actually that stress that tension that time at your little rubber band is pulled to a certain degree. And he caught between what you can achieve in life and how difficult it is imagined you got a grid like that now if you if everything is easy you will make any effort if everything is completely impossible then you won’t make any effort to be somewhere in the middle where it’s difficult enough to make you believe you can do it.
So you can achieve it so it’s got certain tension about stress is very important because the best times in your life actually the times when you’ve got super stressed but you managed to achieve remember that stress isn’t just there to make you feel terrible for the way that you relate to it can do also. The damage to you it can manifest itself is all sorts of physical ailments up and down your body and that’s not a good way to be so where does it all come from a sense of danger of a sense of fear what we get to fears are in built into exactly three the reactions that we get scared of loud noises. I’m scared of heights and three reactions that we could do some there in building because if you think about it going back to nature going back to the very early days of who we were as human beings loud noises will be something else coming together and Heights would mean if you fall you would probably die quite a lot don’t do that you got three ways of dealing with it.
First of all is we freeze so we don’t want to do so he’s gonna freeze like this the other one is we fight so he just battled it whatever is a moment as we flee for those three things at the reactions we naturally have but the problem is this is all created for us to survivors cavemen those tribesmen going out into the desert going out into the jungle. And listen for noises all the time things creating noise around this I’m a list of the things that would actually killers the real world is not like that the things that stretching out right now I things like credit cards and arguments will be over hard. And people were not paying attention to what you’re saying and stop giving our design all the things that like that off or will I get my holidays or will I get my pay or willing to do the sale or will she love me will eat look after me all these kind of things which are very important that they’re not quite a life-or-death be honest that we’re going to kill you probably not annoy you.
Yes and it could be around for quite some time so it’s that balance of how you react to them remember that you’re set to have one reaction reaction is survival and so everything is to make sure that you survived all that. And it’s never ever that bad so you’re going along the desert are you going along the jungle and you hear this noise and you’re worried about it and you focus on it. And you have to focus on it because that lies depending where it comes from could be a number of different things if that noise is coming from behind you it could be that animals tracking you and the tribesmen because you’re hunting some creature and maybe it’s double back and maybe something you know you’re looking behind its wonder where the noise is coming from ever comes from there that could be a group of tribes when he get along really well with friends, have come to join you and that’s fantastic.
Enjoy the hunt coming over there like a big group of tribesmen who you don’t like I’m bad predators and they’re going to take you out as well or it could be but you’re hunting along to hear another noise. And you’re looking for somebody you want to join them to be a number of different things but all you focus on is that now when you think about why I’m talking about this have you ever been to a party anywhere in your best clothes. And so he says give me a hundred people at the party and 99 say you look fantastic one person says look terrible what do you remember the first set is terrible it’s inbuilt is that caveman thing when you’re hunting you remember that. Because it could be dangerous for you was noises will be address or your suits are your shoes or your TV or your hair looks nice who cares not life or death but your system is set up to deal with it like that.
So that’s putting it into perspective now why was it at the very beginning I introduced it to the gorgeous Maya because your perspective is all about you and everybody else is all about you. If you can look to a higher power or higher reason that it means that you can come down the pressure you can come it down and make it more controllable. Now I’m not a greater believer in religious systems i understand how they were being a hypnotist but I don’t want to have the same time poo poo everybody spiritual beliefs but one thing I can tell you regardless we believe in God or Allah or any of these different religions which are all pretty valid.
But for you is that when somebody gets a gold in the Olympics they thank God now why is this why would I thank God when may be the one particular spiritual that somehow they managed to do it well. Here’s the deal and the same for football managers is the same for any element of sports the belief in a higher power means that you can step out of yourself when it comes to effort and it. And achievements and the more than you would normally do for you regardless of your system where he or I won’t mention of different religions but where are you from if you believe in something bigger than you there’s a better chance that you’ll achieve even more when you would do because you’re not doing it for you.
And you don’t believe he doing with your own spiritual belief you’re doing with a higher power that’s then aiding you to get more out of your life that makes sense but we’re all these noises you can hear in the background and not me. Let me just see if I can help you with this by the way this is outside my garden the roadworks continuing its not gonna continue for six months it’s nice and quiet we’ll look massive trench we got to see this well I do that and that big yellow thing in front of us was that yes probably an unexploded bomb that’s a big one I could be inside it so it could be a spaceship. So we’ll talk about split stress management and my dog got stressing and she come so all the time you’re getting wound up by many different things are broken down what the principles of it are it’s built into your system to start worrying about stress.
Because that’s what actually keeps you alive that’s what makes you get out of bed it also keeps you safe but all the stress things that we have nowadays that one you up and not related to that now also I said that yesterday was yesterday about only fighting the battles you know you can win. This is a major part of reducing stress and that’s all the sections have done have a look for the old ones a problem where we go fighting zombies because they are all related to things to make your life easier. So let’s go back to that thing I just mentioned there about only fighting the powers you know you can win now the world is set up to drive you to spend more money right.
Now I’m talking to you on the phone is her best well no it was the best phone about a year ago I didn’t update and get a new phone. Why do we need to choose a dunce this phone does everything i need to I can broadcast now. All around the world the people in New York people lots of agus people in in Middle East all around the world for watching this right now. So why do we need to upgrade it well because of consumers because the whole system is set up to make you a little bit more greedy that somebody else has got better than you and advertising says you are not quality unless you have what everybody says everybody’s got better I remember a couple years ago.
They had a riot in the UK and people were smashing into into shops and taking stuff out of it and they weren’t taking stuff because we are hungry they were taking stuff because it going to sell it we’re taking it because they just desired to have the best quality gear. So people are stealing training because they were top trading shoes and phones and things like that not the black market offers a viable because consumer industries have become so strong that people just had to have these things that the desired and they’re willing to risk going to prison over it. And a lot of people were prosecuted at the same time which is a good thing so if you’re getting stressed because what everyone else is thinking I’m gonna pardon my french so you know friends with your French it gives a monkey’s who cares it gives a shiny should about what people think of you it only matters what you think of yourself.
As let’s put it in the other another perspective was just something that’s kind of useful phrase I got told years ago when I was 20 I worried about what everyone else is saying minutes and 40 another 40 I didn’t care everybody also say I’m gonna turn 60 and I realized nobody was talking about me anyway and there you go it’s a real balance what people are thinking about you. I want you actually are as a person not it matters the only thing that matters is one day when you’ve got one day left in your life you will be able to turn around. And say yeah a great time I really enjoyed every single day and I want to change the thing that’s the case that you want to make sure that you don’t change a thing apart of the things that just make it better for you there’s nothing wrong with being a little bit lazy I’ll tell you what when the things that’s managed to reduce stress for me is you know any chance of meeting and people are saying right gonna be here at certain time.
We got to hold a force meetings actually walk between the meetings now I take my time between the meetings I don’t rush get there really get stressed i take the time that allows me to recharge my batteries and if i have to wait a little time or they have to wait a little time that’s just the way life is sometimes. But what do allowed to do is get me stressed up and worked up because let’s face it you want to get your opportunity would be a very best if you’re not your very best and obviously no use to anybody now one of the things that I’ve been doing for many years. I’ve been hosting the by rugby sevens 15 is 15 years I’m all the things that really stressed me out with my first to cover i started off as a DJ I Met Your Mother so you probably shouldn’t you still be a DJ I started off as a DJ rugby sevens. And one time I turn around and said Dave what we want you to do is want you to run it all the entertainment down to you so for all my goodness I don’t know if I can do this.
So I turned around and thought well if I don’t have a job what’s gonna happen in the end is all my friends who work with me and see Megan lose their jobs. Now let’s get this in mind almost all the guys the rugby sevens I’ve been here now for the best part 10 years is almost the same team very fiercely loyal to them and saying back ok. So almost exactly the same team so on the morning i was stressed my very first rugby sevens we don’t know about rugby sevens I’m just throwing it out there emirates airlines dubai rugby sevens the biggest event of the sporting calendar bother grand prix and maybe nothing is probably biggest to this event on the device supports in calendar.
Maybe the entire region here in GCC and one that weekend its international rugby beamed out about civilian homes and also a hundred thousand people coming onto the events enjoying it live and the stadium where I go out the microphone about 45,000 people. So it’s quite a lot of pressure there to get it right over three days between do it everything we hear really well so I’m gonna wait to work is a pic in his ear sorry about that I’m on the way to work and thinking i’m driving on my red jeep at the time. Because we get married and everything changes your budget that says just don’t look so cool I’m driving along and I was driving my car and thinking oh my goodness I don’t know if I can handle this.
My predecessor there is no longer working on this cake was great at doing it but what questions happened what people around me and say Dave what happens if that happens and what you’re gonna say about this. What you gonna do about that I had no idea I’m gonna find out a fraud and making stuff up as they go along and not as good as as I said it would be looking after the inside events and I was really getting stressed and they got stressful couple days before that anyway. So I’m driving on my jeep and I thought well you’re a life coach ask yourself better questions now this is a great tip for stress management by the way I’m driving along thinking that myself a good question right okay here’s a question if I was to hire somebody to host the Emirates Airlines goodbye rugby sevens are going to run the team look after its who would I choose to start breaking it down.
As I’m driving I didn’t use my hands like this because you gotta drive I’m thinking okay they’re gonna know the events could have been there for a couple years ago have a good team around him and knows their stuff and we’re gonna be excellent practitioners of what they do a good understand the crowd and rugby I’m also gonna be able to work of a crowd. And think on their feet and things go wrong with the kind of person who can turn around and say right I know what to do next that was something is open to ideas to be something is flexible enough to talk to the bosses. but also somebody who they listen to is going to gravitate to say look this is a good idea let’s go this way and then we’ll actually do it I thought well if i was to get somebody in and hire them to do the job who would i choose I’m driving along thinking along who could it be and I thought they would create me.
I will be the best person for that job I would hire me to do that job so therefore the theory and security of stress something right now must be natural I am the best person is going to cover the best ideas i’ve done the gig forever. I’ve got a great team I get on really well the bosses I know the gate the gate I know that that the sport and entertainment I am the best person to do about job so therefore whatever happens on this weekend it’s good to be a learning curve and make it wrong. But I’m the best person to get it wrong because I understand how these things come together and i’ll learn better for next year. And I’ll be open and honest about it as i do it with myself and my team I just keep moving forward this is Major because that we can have a successful weekend about 10 years ago when that happens I’ve been running the dimeric the entertainment, the barrett reciever since now in your life you get stressed thinking things about my control.
Oh my goodness I don’t know what’s going to happen I don’t know what’s going to happen next what this happens and that happens is it all out of my control. Well who’s the best person to make decisions about your life who knows you better than anybody who’s gonna be stuck dealing with your bad decisions. Are you good decisions the rest of your life and he was a real incentive in getting it right you is true everything you have in your life you created or until this point things have happened to you and you let them happen well now you’re in charge. Now you are in charge of every decision you make for the rest of your life and you can decide what is good and what is bad and if you don’t make that choice. And stop complaining about it in fact if you don’t make that choice that is also a choice flight talking so it’s good now so that’s your choice to not make a choice.
So for now I’ll just take control and see it as a learning curve you don’t have to run a marathon you just have to get one step in front of the other as you go along this journey and he get from A to B it doesn’t really matter how much stress you put yourself under. You’re going to get there anyway you never get their happy hour get their wound up there is an amazing book called the peaceful warrior is commonplace for worry and it’s also a movie starring Nick not it’s worth watching. And I’ll finish on this point because I think that’s enough for one session in this movie the peaceful warrior that this young lad who wants to become a gold class Olympic gymnast.
And so is training is good it’s been traveling a motorbike all the rest of it anyway for some strange reason he ends up being coached by nick nolte area now try it doesn’t sound like about that not far off to be watching. And then also he plays this is some petrol station attendants at the petrol station attendant was also a coach of an Olympic team are looking Olympic gymnast team or wherever it is so he knows the sport he knows how to coach people to that level. So beyond that says come on Coach me so what it does is he teaching lots of life lessons and it goes on and on and on eventually the kid becomes impatient says look enough now enough you said you’re going to teach me how to do this. And all you’ve done is do philosophy all about ancient thoughts and religions and blah blah blah wedding and teach me except you’re right. Tomorrow 4am be here and put your boots on going to go for a walk so the next thing you see is them walking up in the hills beautiful sky mountains the city’s down below and the cameras following them is a gorgeous morning and they’re walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and eventually the kid says enough walking.
You said you’re going to show me the secret how to get success you said you going to teach me everything and all we’ve done is walk to Nick Nolte does this turns around looks down and picks up a rock says this is what you’re looking for hands Mr. the kid goes crazy it’s a force this why you came in stone well that was up to do anything this stone county the answer to everything. So we’ll think about it he says when you woke up this morning you’re all excited about where we’re going to go what we’re going to do what we’re going to learn and all the way along you couldn’t stop talking about the Sun and the energy and you with a different person full endorphins full of excitement.
We got to this point and picked up the rock and now you’re saying it’s not right but always until now you were really happy because here’s the key it’s not about the arrival it’s about the journey think about this you’re looking to be rich famous successful happy nice family. All these different things and and the the great things to aim for but the real key to life is how you get there like this kid for instance it’s not being an Olympic gold medalist you can buy a gold medal that says olympics on it and your Olympic gold medalist it’s about the ability to get there. And how you have to change to be there because then once you’ve got it you can do it again and again care of other people right now you’re working out how to be the best in your life and it’s gonna be a learning curve like goes up and down like that you will get stressed.
And you will get bothered but that’s part of the excitement part of the journey like having a splinter in your finger and you can wow that really hurts here’s what I do I take the splinter out because I’m an idiot to keep it in but then I feel the pain and go wow that’s what it feels like that helps me feel that I’m alive. But also it tells me i don’t want any more splinter in my finger what happened to get this winter I end up running and catching a table or picked up a steak or something I didn’t look at where I was going I grab something well that’s a big inflation anymore the part of your training part of your reduction of stress is.
Now to stop doing things that could cause you pain. But also to chill out and enjoy the whole situation is never ever ever about just getting results. He won’t know about the journey of experience and making sure that you enjoy every step of the way. Now that’s just a philosophical side of stress management I’ll be giving you a ton of practical tips do’s and don’ts of things, all mindsets, all perception, all the way that you react to stuff. But that’s not for one day give us your thoughts and actually if you’d like to we’ve got the next couple of days at least two days to work on this in the comments section.
Tell me an example that something that you’re stressed about it could be a bereavement, it could be losing your job, it could be is making ends meet, it could be not having a great relationship. Wherever is sharing me let me know and I promise you without the name and address the situation and give you my direct comments and thoughts on it. So then you’ll be able to turn around very quickly indeed that’s it for today a wonderful day and I’m going to spend the afternoon in the company of audience alive and John Quinn this team fantastic guys google them audience alive the best trainers in presentations and powerpoints. And they’re just fantastic we’re going to talk about TED talks and talks and be sharing with you some one of the insights and future days and how you can actually do a TED talk and see that will stick around.
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Take it easy and I’ll see you tomorrow!